Is there a “One” person for us?

I read an article in Cosmopolitan this month that inspired today’s Just Love post. It was written by the incredible actress Sophia Bush and some of the ideas were so brilliant I needed to address them in this blog!

I have been struggling with the “is there a one person for me” concept for quite some time. To imagine out of all the millions of people in this world that there might be one person who is destined to be with me my entire life, seems a little silly nowadays. Especially since all three of the monogamous relationships I’ve had I at one point believed were “the one”. Yes they were “the one” at that moment. But as time passed, I soon realized that they were placed into my life to help me grow. Some people help you grow and grow with you – and some grow apart. That is a part of life’s relationship cycles. You can either accept it or you can fight it but accepting it will bring you the internal peace we all desire.

I personally believe that people are placed in our lives for a reason. Unfortunately we were brought into a world where we were taught as children to go to school, get a good job, find a husband/wife, and have kids. We weren’t taught that this cookie-cutter plan isn’t meant for everyone – and because of this – a lot of us suffer in silence. We suffer thinking that because we’re alone, we have in some way failed. That because we may be on a different life path, something is wrong with us. What we should have been taught is that every relationship is either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Every relationship, whether it be intimate or not is placed in our life for a purpose: to either heal you, to build yourself up, or it is meant to show you how to trust your own intuition. Sophia writes, “Had we learned these things, then maybe we would of known that the relationships that don’t turn into life long commitments, are not failures. Not every love can last forever.”

We all have our own stories. Do you really want your story to be just like everyone else’s? What if the reason you aren’t supposed to get married is because you’re meant to spend your time focusing on a career that will make you millions? Or to have a life spent traveling the world? To invent something? I’m sure if you could look into the future and see that, you wouldn’t be down about your relationship status today. There are lessons and reasons for everything and if we fight against it, we won’t be open enough to let the joys and gifts flow into our lives.

So no, I don’t believe there is a “one” person for all of us.  Some of us will find partners for specific reasons, and some of us will find people for a few seasons and then move on. If you’re someone who has found a lifelong partnership where you can grow together, then that is wonderful. But if you haven’t, then that wasn’t your path. Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. Maybe your path is to have a lifelong committed relationship with yourself. Be open to the idea that your path will be just as fascinating, regardless if you find “the One.”

Let go of any fear and expect the best.

I hope you all have a fabulous day and as always, I’m sending you so much love!

Melissa ♡

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My Journey to Self-Love – Recent events.

For the past two months I’ve been extremely busy. My life has changed substantially, and as a result I haven’t found much time to blog. I apologize to all of my dedicated readers for not being able to consistently post blogs every Monday. Being the perfectionist that I am, it’s been heavy on my heart. But on the bright side, it has been a great learning experience… Something I can now share with you.

Learning to accept our current position in life is one of the biggest challenges for most of us.  Life moves fast. If we don’t immediately get a great job out of university, for some reason we beat ourselves up and feel like failures. Why is that?

Our parents, of course! They were molded by a different time, when finding a job in your chosen field was easier than it is today. A lot of things were easier back then. With fewer distractions, they were able to forge their path much sooner and with relatively less resistance – and maybe their tolerance for pain and failure is much higher than ours.

With the pressure from our parents, who don’t understand how different our experience is, it becomes near impossible for us to accept where we are. Our parents taught us: Get an education = get a good job = buy a house. But we live in a different reality. Anxiety and Depression are at an all-time high among the Y and Z generations. The cause seems to be that the old ways of thinking aren’t viable for us anymore. Our generation simply does not want to settle like our parents. We all want the jobs of our dreams; only, we think we can get it. This is the root of our disconnect.

We must unlearn these patterns from our parents. It’s not healthy to believe you can simply go to school, and then get a great job afterwards. That day and age is gone. If we chase a career we’re crazy about, we must accept that we won’t find success as fast as our parents did because we, as a generation, are driven by love. We need to pursue jobs that we’re obsessed with. We need careers that fill our souls, not just our bank accounts.

For those of you like me who find you are slowly but surely moving forward, it’s important to come to terms with, and learn to love, our present situation. It may not be much, but it is your world, your forge, and your stepping-stone to your dreams. Find the light in your dark room, because we can only work with what we already have, and everyone has enough to work with. Remember that great things were accomplished by people worse off than you, and they did it because they accepted the nourishment of their roots. Find the nourishment where you are; believe me, it’s there. It’s the only way to get where you’re going.

We can’t change the present. All we can do is breathe through the fears, and let go of the anxiety that is only there because of stagnant beliefs. We must choose to “Love and accept ourselves as we are right now.” < My favourite mantra. If we embrace a new world, we must embrace a new way of doing things. I recommend everyone try meditation. It is a powerful tool that truly gives perspective on how little we have to fear if we follow our instincts and listen to our hearts.

So today, I accept that I am not where I was told I’d be by now. But that’s ok because where I am is where I was always meant to be. I am not alone… I am apart of new generation and a new way of life. I am different and I am great, and I choose to focus on what brings me happiness. I choose to not worry if I can’t be the perfect human that I was taught to be. So I missed a few blogs, I ain’t gonna die! haha

xo

 

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The Best New Meditation app!

 

Hello my loves,

Today I wanted to share with you my favorite new app! This app is called Instant Timer and it’s a meditation app. There’s a community of people who use this app and meditate every single day. The app has a collection of meditations for almost any time of day. It’s absolutely fabulous and I have been using it everyday since the crazy election last week. It has helped me stay present and remember whats important in life…to live from a place of love.

With everything that’s been happening in the world recently, it’s so important that we stay grounded. Meditation can help us find inner peace and can help lighten the weight that’s been on all of our shoulders. So I would definitely recommend that you try this app or at least try at making meditation apart of your daily routine.

Every Monday Morning at 9:30am (Eastern-standard time), I’m going to film myself doing a meditation on this live-streaming app called Hype. If you want to join in with me, download the app, and follow my account: @Melissa Melottey.

Below is a picture of the the app “Instant Timer” so that you know what to look for!

I hope you all have a fabulous day and as always, I’m sending you so much love!

Melissa ♡

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