Heartache is not fun. WAY TO STATE THE OBVIOUS M!
I have experienced heartache in many different forms in my life; heartache over death, heartache over a loss of a relationship, heartache while still in a relationship, and heartache over discovering that the world doesn’t have magical dragons and wizards like it would have in my favorite childhood stories.
I was experiencing relationship heartache very recently actually and that is what has inspired me to right this post.
From previous experiences, I have reflected and I have now discovered a few secrets to getting through the days when you feel heartache.
The most important point to remember, is that the best way to overcome heartache, is to continue to send the other person thoughts of love.
Resentment makes grieving last ten times longer than if you just love someone. I know this isn’t the kind of normal advice your use to…but my site is called JUST LOVE by: Melissa…so it shouldn’t be a surprise that my first piece of advice is to continue to send out thoughts of love.
The secrets that I will share with you, I recently applied to my own life and I feel significantly better and happier since. It is a system to move forward and overcome the heartache; unlike what I use to do which was curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep…now I just stare at social media all day and feel sad. Much better than crying because you don’t get a headache.
haha Ok SERIOUSLY THOUGH, my first piece of advice on how to overcome heartache: is to take a SOCIAL MEDIA VACATION!
Back in the day, when social media wasn’t born yet, when a person felt heartache, they couldn’t stare at their loved ones profile page and see what they’re doing 24/7. Having this ability has made getting over someone, much harder than it ever use to be. People back then probably still cried themselves to sleep, but at least they didn’t have access to their significant others lives and therefore they would of had no way of knowing that their ex met a girl named Sheila and partied with her all night long last Friday. haha.
Social media definitely makes moving on hard. So I am a strong believer in taking a Social Media Vacation. This means, I take one week and I delete all of my social media. Some may think that this is rash or dramatic, but I believe that it is essential to a persons sanity these days. Taking a week for yourself won’t kill ya and people won’t forget you in a week. LETS BE REAL HERE! 😀
It’s so much easier to grieve your relationship without a constant reminder, so schedule a Social Media Vacation!
Once this has been scheduled, you must now part-take in what I call, ” I LOVE ME!” week. An “I Love Me” Week, basically consists of you pampering yourself like crazy. Go on a shopping spree, eat at some fancy places, have a spa night, have a ‘Netflix night in’ with your buds; do whatever you love that will get you in the habit of remembering how fun life truly is when we aren’t giving into sadness.
If you find that you are starting to feel sad, then let yourself cry. But what is 100% off the menu, is complaining or gossiping about your former relationship (or whomever your feeling heartache about). In order to truly find peace with the situation, you must come to terms with the fact that we all make mistakes and that not everyone is meant for each other.
Regardless of the situation, you must see the other person with compassion and love. It is anger and gossip that makes it hard to let go and move forward. I know this can be super hard for some people, which, I totally get. It’s a social norm with us ladies and I struggle with it from time to time. So I’ve designed a little game that can help us. I call it the “DONT SAY IT” Game. (Yes I just made up that title right now. It’s 11 at night so excuse my lack of creativity).
The “DON’T SAY IT” Game works like this: Every time you say something negative or gossip about your former relationship, you have to take a shot of something really gross, like soy sauce. Some of you may find that easy but I personally just don’t like soy sauce, so that would be very hard for me.
Pick something that you find really gross and make sure you announce this game to your family or friends so they will hold you accountable. After playing this game for about a week, it will become a habit for you to replace a negative thought with a positive thought and your grieving process will be cut in half because of it.
At the end of your fabulous Social Media Vacation and “I LOVE ME!” week, you need to prepare yourself for the future. If you don’t feel strong enough to stay away from your ex’s profiles, kindly ask a friend to block them from your life. Again, some people may be worried about this being interpreted as dramatic, but I think your well-being and happiness needs to be your priority right now and it’s hard to continue to send someone love if your constantly reviewing the past and looking over happy/sad times. You need to be in your own love bubble right now and you need to commit to not let anyone or anything break it.
Next, you must plan out your life, day by day. Taking one day at a time is best when your feeling heartache; and focusing on the present will truly help you right now.
Write out some daily goals and commit to them. Make them small so that you do them easily; Such as: wash the dishes, tweet something positive, floss!! On a side note…does anyone else find flossing so hard?!!! It’s a struggle for me to do every night but I still do it because I am mentally happier afterwards knowing that I am now one step ahead of gingivitis. 😛
Planning out your days for a few weeks will truly help your grieving process.
*This is a system that I have created and applied myself. It doesn’t cure your heartache completely…only time can do that. But it can significantly shorten your grieving process and help you overcome it. I believe it is the best ‘come-back’ system out there because it focuses on giving love to yourself and healing your relationship wounds by seeing your ex (or whomever your feeling heartache around) with love.
I hope you all enjoyed this post and I am now off to pamper myself!
As always, I’m sending you so much love! <3