I read an article in Cosmopolitan this month that inspired today’s Just Love post. It was written by the incredible actress Sophia Bush and some of the ideas were so brilliant I needed to address them in this blog!
I have been struggling with the “is there a one person for me” concept for quite some time. To imagine out of all the millions of people in this world that there might be one person who is destined to be with me my entire life, seems a little silly nowadays. Especially since all three of the monogamous relationships I’ve had I at one point believed were “the one”. Yes they were “the one” at that moment. But as time passed, I soon realized that they were placed into my life to help me grow. Some people help you grow and grow with you – and some grow apart. That is a part of life’s relationship cycles. You can either accept it or you can fight it but accepting it will bring you the internal peace we all desire.
I personally believe that people are placed in our lives for a reason. Unfortunately we were brought into a world where we were taught as children to go to school, get a good job, find a husband/wife, and have kids. We weren’t taught that this cookie-cutter plan isn’t meant for everyone – and because of this – a lot of us suffer in silence. We suffer thinking that because we’re alone, we have in some way failed. That because we may be on a different life path, something is wrong with us. What we should have been taught is that every relationship is either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Every relationship, whether it be intimate or not is placed in our life for a purpose: to either heal you, to build yourself up, or it is meant to show you how to trust your own intuition. Sophia writes, “Had we learned these things, then maybe we would of known that the relationships that don’t turn into life long commitments, are not failures. Not every love can last forever.”
We all have our own stories. Do you really want your story to be just like everyone else’s? What if the reason you aren’t supposed to get married is because you’re meant to spend your time focusing on a career that will make you millions? Or to have a life spent traveling the world? To invent something? I’m sure if you could look into the future and see that, you wouldn’t be down about your relationship status today. There are lessons and reasons for everything and if we fight against it, we won’t be open enough to let the joys and gifts flow into our lives.
So no, I don’t believe there is a “one” person for all of us. Some of us will find partners for specific reasons, and some of us will find people for a few seasons and then move on. If you’re someone who has found a lifelong partnership where you can grow together, then that is wonderful. But if you haven’t, then that wasn’t your path. Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. Maybe your path is to have a lifelong committed relationship with yourself. Be open to the idea that your path will be just as fascinating, regardless if you find “the One.”
Let go of any fear and expect the best.
I hope you all have a fabulous day and as always, I’m sending you so much love!