Midnight thoughts -Diary entry.

I got food poising this weekend. What a fun ride that was. I can’t even remember the last time I threw up because I very rarely get the stomach flu or even colds (knock on wood). But anyways, it left me inside, not doing much, because I needed to recover.

I often dream about the weekends where I get to do nothing and I can just recover… and then I get it and of course I wish I had more energy. Aint that life! – We’ve just got to be happy with where we are right now because you’re never going to get exactly what you want and usually it’s for a good reason. You usually get exactly what you need and it ends up being better than what you want.

My task for myself right now is to allow myself to just enjoy every moment. If I feel like reading…then read. If I feel like watching tv, then watch tv. If I feel like blogging then go for it girl. Enough with the pressure to be better and do everything, Melissa, because it’s just not possible.

I couldn’t do everything as a child and did I care? No. Because I was living in the moment and having fun. It’s interesting thinking about growing older because even if your brain becomes fully developed at a certain point, you then seem to trade that burden in and do whatever you can to numb yourself out.

When you’re a kid, you feel your emotions and you express yourself and play and as you get older and understand life at its fullest, it becomes too hard and you numb out to sugars or weed or some kind of addiction.

That’s something I’ve noticed recently…everyone has an addiction. OBVIOUSLY some addictions are way more extreme and serious than others…but in some way, everyone has something they do to numb out. Even the idea of a vacation is to escape the real world. Kids don’t ever need to escape…why do adults need to?

I think because we don’t play enough. We don’t play and live in the moment and do what will truly bring us joy enough. Because if we did…we wouldnt need to relax at the end of the day. We would just play. We wouldn’t be so stressed because we would be living right now and going with the flow.

Anyways, these are my midnight thoughts. Tomorrow…I shall play.

XOXO Melissa

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